It’s holidays – the 20-year-old has come home to live for a bit and we’ve had a few conversations about careers, success and what to do with one’s life.
Imagine my astonishment when both the 20-year-old (the free spirited liberal folksinger who has recently completed a BA) and the 18-year-old (read: polar extreme to the previous, ie right wing, materialistic, conservative in clothes, values, music etc) both said “we should have been hothoused”.
What – you mean forced to play the piano or learn French or whatever as 3-year-olds? Absolutely right apparently. But I gave you lots of opportunities to learn things – you did all the sporting things, swimming lessons, cubs/scouts etc and other things when you showed interest – gym, guitar lessons, karate, circus lessons one holidays, to name a few.
Nope not enough. Haha! Believe me it felt like enough dealing with three small boys and part-time work/later full-time – remember the time when the 2-year-old fell in the deep end of the pool when you two were having lessons at the BGI?
Anyway apparently, to be successful (according to latest book by Malcolm Gladwell which I haven’t actually read) you need to start early. You need to be practising and learning all those extra skills for years and years as a child so you get really really good. Success breeds success and hard work pays off.
So I recounted this conversation to my friend and she said that exactly the same thing has happened to her. For years and years they tried to interest and cajole their daughter into learning music, which was of huge importance in their family. The girl totally refused. Now, as she leaves secondary school she says: “oh you should have forced me into learning an instrument – it’s all too late now”.
It’s a sad blow for us middle-class sap parents who wanted our kids to enjoy their childhoods. We should have toughened up apparently. Oh well – my children are going to hothouse their kids eventually, so good luck to them!
